Category: Let's talk
Lately I have been having 2nd thoughts and many doubts over my son...this is 1 cold cruel and insular world with little in the way of safety or tolerance we bomb innocent people because they just might be potential terrorists,we stuff ourselves stupid while others scratch in the dust for dried up roots while their children die a slow painful death for the want of clean water,what kind of a world is this to bring a child up in hmm I've brought this beautiful little boy in to a city that has the higher murder rate than any where in Europe,if your Goth,Gay, Disabled, Asian, or English or support the "wrong" team your a target.
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Will I be worrying about Alasdair every time he steps out the door of course any parent would,but when his fellow pupils find out his Dad is a blind Goth I know what their reaction will be.I really think I've made a huge mistake and its eating me up not I dont love Alasdair he's a gift but sometimes I'm convinced we've made a colossal mistake.
cheers
Alex.
It might seem that way, but your son is not a mistake. He was put in your life for a reason. I know that's hard to believe, but it's the truth. Just hang in there. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to.
I know and we love him completely but this world, this city, is hard enough to live in. Glaswegians used to be friendly cheerful and helpful, now they are very insular and selfish.cheers pal.
admittely this is a cold and cruel world with little in the way of tolerance of folks that are other than what each their own selves are or hope to be... As a parent with sons in their 20's I have to wonder how did they ever come into these ages with having a mom way too pampering and overly protective in many ways... Each parent has faults that their kids hate as well as too having qualities that places parents in heros in the minds of their kids. Hopefully somewhere a balance can be sound. I can only beseech you to somehow rid yourself of those thots of thinking you've made a huge mistake in having your little man, in having Alasdair. Your skin next to his soft tender skin with heartbeat of his and yours more so beating as one... ... may he feel only your complete love and support. May he not feel your questioning. Kids pick up and feel their parents inner frustrations... may your deep love of this child completely overshadow any thots of having made a mistake...You have not made one and if you allow for this eating away then that in itself will be truly a mistake. Alex you may be blind and a goth but you are more than this .You are a musician, you are the master Story Teller, You are a Man of the Outdoors and one that is frustrated when folks simply go along in life and don't ask questions. You are alive to life and so many parents aren't, they just sorta get into a rut and merely exist... Support Alasdair in his endeavors, his bumps, his scrapes, his victories. Be there and with open arms both to love him and to allow for him to grow and to BE all that he can be. Maybe I am responding in a bit of a "dream world" yet still PLEASE do Not ever allow for Alasdair to ever think he is in any way a mistake... he isn't and you and Ardeth did not make a mistake.... I simply do not believe that... I remember how Alasdair's Mother was hurt, was beaten by those horrible and soon therafter he was conceived....from her and your deep care of each other. Alasdair is born of love...so many are not. ALL my Best thots I send. Connie
I totally agree. Keep trying. Keep going. It's not your fault. Do the best you can. It will work in the way it needs to. I struggle with the same things. I haven't had children, but when I do, I'm afraid that I won't be a good mother to them. I'm afraid I'll be too protective. I don't know. You will be fine. Just never give up. Your son needs you.
hmmm? That's all well and good but I was hoping for more than cliches sorry but they exist purely for people who don't know what else to say.
previous answers may not have been what you were hoping for when creating this post, but there truely is not right answer. All you can do is hope and prey, as other do and will. Everythign happens for a reason. I don't have children, but I could have had. My son or daughter would have been two and a half now and I have no doubt that I would be obsessively worrying about the same thing you worry about, but all we can do is our best and be greatful for every day we have. It might not be what you want to hear and I am sorry for that, but there's nothing that anyoen can really do but hope everything will be all right in the end.
I dont obsessively worry just now and again when I see how cold and thoughtless this world can be there are other reasons for this train of thought and disconsolate mood which I cant reveal here.
lol, sorry, i should have pointed out that, i meant that i probably would obsessively worry, especially being as where I live isnt' the nicest place. i wasnt' trying to suggest that you do that.
Thats ok I just get boggd down by this huge responsibility and the magnitude of it frightens me.
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Some wag once referred to my city as NY without the guns was he a tourist, no a Glaswegian! Shows how well he knew his city honestly we'd be safer in NY maybe we should ask Rudi Gulliani for some answers.
Hi, I have a 2-and-a-half year old son and I too had concerns about him, still do. When people told me that he was more likely to be bullied at school because of the fact he had a blind mother. But then I got to thinking that he is my child, and because I have quite a strong personality, I would like to hope that Nathan will learn to stick up for himself. Also, I have always tried to see the positives. Someone asked me once if Nathan would learn to guide a blind person at an early age to which I replied, I never want Nathan to have to compensate for the fact I cannot see, but I would like to hope that it will give him a better understanding, and tolerance of the fact that not all people are the same. And I truely believe that to be the case. And so I like to think positively. Nathan will hopefully grow up more tolerant of other people and more sensitive to the fact that we are not all alike, and Nathan will make friends, and hopefully those friends will also develop a better understanding of others, and with more tolerance and understanding, the world can only become a better place.
SugarBaby thank you.That's what we hope for but the fact remains that there has been a rise in violence against disabled people and anyone associated with them,its not just in Glasgow though the city does seems to be the worst. I just dont want to recieve THE call you know.Alasdair doesnt need to victimised and learn to fear simply because of his choice of friends, or because certain members of his family have a disability, but that may well happen the question is how do I protect him?.We have already had some comments I.E do you expect Alasdair to help you 2 out ect "NOT on my life! It's his choice entirely" SugarBaby I wish you and Nathan all the best cheers.
Hi Goblin, I agree completely with Sugarbaby. Don't be upset because you have a child. Many people who are blind have children, and they all probably feel the same way as you do at times. If I had a child I would worry too. But you have to realize that there are tons of people in this world, and they make it through, and your on will be no different. So take care and don't worry, and just raise your son to the best of your potential, as I'm sure you are, and he'll be a great person who is tolerant and good.
Caitlin